Not anything too drastic about today–I was a bit hungrier and it was hard not having food ready to eat. I still reach out for food that I usually just grab–bread, peanut butter, etc.
Going throughout this day–an experience kept returning to my mind. In finding out that William had food allergies, I was in disbelief. I felt like they-food allergies–were not a real thing and somehow that there was an immediate solution–it could be like a bacterial infection–a medicine could relieve the discomfort. Nope. This was not the case. I wanted so bad for something to cure these food allergies. Everything was so new to me and those who supported me. Family, friends did their best to be understanding and supportive. Helping to find possible solutions. One of those were vitamins. Willing to give mostly anything within safety a shot–a neighbor had some vitamins. She had a lot of them. My sister and I went to the neighbor’s house–my sister knew her a little better than I did. We spent time together, she shared her knowledge. Perhaps at one point or another I might have said something regarding William to where this neighbor felt the need to tell my sister, “Your Sister–She is So Sensitive about William.” Years later this comment continues to pop into my head here and there. I am not sure what I said, or what body language I expressed–though it must have been pretty strong.
Thinking back on that day and those words–I have now noticed over the several years of William having food allergies–that I am more sensitive with him–my sensitivity is perhaps a defense mechanism, a protection for him and for me, for our family.
Over the years I have learned that I needed to be his voice–his advocate. When confirmed with food allergies, I had no idea what to expect. I thought we would just need to be cautious and that he might encounter itchiness or bothersome things here and there. As time proceeded forward–there were a few times to come where I watched him close to a very short life. So, yes, in that instance (of help from a neighbor) and from then on, I have been sensitive with William. Overprotective when it comes to food, a little, though also helping him learn how to be strong. In the process, a strength also building for myself as well as our family.