Today was pretty normal until I was opening a KitKat for my youngest. That KitKat smelled so good–the chocolate, the texture and from previous eating experience–taste pretty good. I did not eat it. I can only imagine how many instances William feels like giving in and not caring if he gets sick–except–every risk he takes–he risks his life.
Days 8 & 9 were pretty normal with eating as if I were the one with food allergies. I did get to ask William–how many times a day he thinks about the things he would like to eat–but is not able to. “Haha–I think about it all the time…it is hard when I see my brother or sister eating what I would like to eat.” These were his words. Without submerging myself into this challenge–I am not sure I would have ever thought to ask that question–to him.
Wow! It has been a week. A week for me, my kiddo eleven years. When he was younger, it was easier to protect him from the reasoning or lack of reasoning of food allergies. When he was younger, I kept his body safe. As he gets older and as he has progressed to getting older–I want to help him keep his mind safe, thinking of himself in a positive way instead focusing on the negatives of having an aliment that not everyone has. This is partly why I am committed into my 365 food allergy challenge. I am hoping to help William to continue to be strong and look at the positives. I am hoping to be an increased advocate for him, help him feel supported. I understand that there are many other ways to support as well–we practice those also. This is just something I felt strongly about and an idea that “popped” into my head.
Today, the cookies were still hanging around. By now I would have settled my “desire” for them. I am holding strong.
Today was a little more challenging–it has been long and there were a lot of food that really looked good–cookies, cupcakes, donuts. I din’t eat them. There was one thing that I just went after out of habit–a salad–looking at the ingredients, William possibly could eat it, but might’ve ended up needing to take Benadryl. My body does not react the same as William’s would. Mine is a challenge, becoming more aware of how he feels–his is reality, his life.
Day 2–I woke up thinking about bread foods and was pretty hungry for them. I also felt pretty hungry as well. I went through the day consciously thinking about the foods I am not able to eat and how they could affect William.
Day 3-Much like day 1&2. Except today, pizza was involved. Usually I will tell myself if pizza is around that I will not eat it, though, I do end up eating it. Today, no. Focused on the effects of food allergies to someone who is anaphylactic–it is not a choice. They cannot have it. I did not have it. I got really hungry in the middle of they day. I really felt irritable and ravenous. This is probably how William feels much of the time. It is important to have foods on hand and ready to eat.
Today was my first day eating only the things that are not harmful to William’s body. It was challenging not going for the bread or peanut butter or consciously thinking about whether the food had any kind of allergen in it. Most days, I just go for food–today–I thought of the effects the food could have on a anaphylactic child/person.
We experienced a whole new world when it came to food allergies. Before I was married and had kids, I knew a lady whose child was severely allergic to food. My mind could not process the possibility that someone could be deathly allergic to food. It mostly sounded like a cruel joke. Time passed, I had my child, he was confirmed with fatal food allergies.
Wheat, Oat, Rye, Soy, Tree Nut, Peanuts, Egg, Shellfish. His most fatal allergy Wheat.
Today was Easter! It was a good day–today, I really had to focus on how William might feel with all the food around him. Typically, I would–even though I would tell myself I won’t eat this or that –I would–but today, I didn’t. There are so many things William needs to be cautious about. It’s not only the food, it’s what others might touch, that he might be able to eat. Today, the cookies, I wanted to eat the cookies so badly. Not because they were good for me–mostly because I just wanted them. I wonder how many times a day just want things? Just to have them–because he can. I will ask him. I will blog what he says. Or have him blog it–
We had family and friends over as well–they too brought goodies to share. Typically, I would try or be willing to try what others brought–today, I didn’t.
Eleven years ago-December 5th, 2005, I had my first kiddo–my son William. Handed to me, he was and still is perfect in every way. Simply amazed! I was a mom. We endeavored on our new adventure together-him a child, me a new Mom! He grew, he played, he ate. One day, I had put him down for his nap–I hear screaming from the room he was in–I couldn’t imagine what was going on. One, his tummy was upset from screaming, the other his eyes were swollen. First time mom, I thought, perhaps I might be overreacting. I called my sister–she confirmed, I was not seeing things. William’s eyes were indeed swollen. A visit to the doctor was our next step–we visited with William’s Doctor on several occasions, until we were referred to an allergist, for food allergies.
William was confirmed to have food allergies when he was eight months old. They were/are intense and severe. He is a trooper and has battled his challenge in amazing ways! He is an inspiration. William is 11.5 and had become more familiar with how food reacts in his body. Yesterday, I let him know, I want to understand more–I want to know how he feels, more. I want to be a part of his world. Yesterday, I decided to accept for myself a 365 day food allergy challenge. In a sense I want to put myself in William’s shoes. This will be my log of my 365 days of a food allergy journey. Also, information and experiences I have learned through the years about food allergies.